tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5862319461007202952024-03-14T01:59:05.186+08:00lalala~A girl, a woman, a daughter, a friend, or whatever you might call it.Rosmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02110486897206128984noreply@blogger.comBlogger187125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-586231946100720295.post-62023101949711362172016-11-21T11:36:00.000+08:002016-11-21T11:36:18.978+08:00Adam Mikhail<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">At 5.30am, 25 May 2016, my water broke. After days of threatening my boss that I will go into labor early, it's finally happening. It was supposed to be my normal check up but I suppose the baby decided to come out a bit earlier than expected. Whatever it is, I have been bugging Khairi with the same question, <i>"Bila Adam nak keluaq ni?" </i>at a rate of 3 times a day at that point and I was equally happy and nervous. After waking him up to tell that it's finally happening, we just lay there for a while, digesting the fact that we're gonna see the baby soon. There will no more be the two of us, there will be three. </span></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Giddy Mommy and Daddy!</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">People told me that I didn't really look pregnant coz my tummy is not bloated, but whatever. As long as the baby is healthy, I'm okay. At least it wouldn't be hard for me to shed those baby pounds. Yeay hot bod!....notttt.</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Chik tu nak tayang perut flat ja. Compare dengan orang nak p beranak satgi nun. Ceh.</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Giddy Tok and Awan</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />So we went to the hospital that morning and it turned out that the baby didn't want to come out just yet. So I had to spend the night there but it was okay...at first. I'm sure the other mommies-to-be there hated me for laughing and making jokes with Khairi and my sisters and Mak Abah, coz I didn't feel a thing....yet. And then it was 7pm, and the mild contraction started. It was a little like period pain but it grew stronger as the time passed. I was awake the whole night and it was pouring outside with strong wind and lightning and stuff; announcing the birth of little Adam. Hahahah drama sangat kauuuu Adam. I paced around the ward the whole night, I couldn't get any sleep, I couldn't do anything. At 6am, that path has opened just enough for me to enter the labor room. I didn't hesitate one bit. I ate a few kurma and a mug of Milo, and I (thought I) was all set. It was 7am.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A few hours after that, still nothing. The progress was slow. I was tossing and turning on the bed and the contractions, urgh, the contractions were fiercely painful. Thank god for the invention of metal bedposts. There's nothing you can do but bear the pain when it comes and wait for it to pass. I was given the happy gas, but I didn't think it helped one bit. The nurses gave me a jab but I didn't think it helped either. The pain was unbearable. Khairi came in to check on me at around 12 noon, and I barely remember it. I was on gas and I think I looked like Helena Bonham Carter as </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Bellatrix Lestrange. He better love me still!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">At around 4pm, I suddenly feel to urge to push. Thank God, it was time. Khairi came in and helped me through it all. It was long. I was in there bearing the pain from 6am till 4pm, with no food, just drips, and I was exhausted. I didn't have any energy and it was a long labor. During the labor, wild imaginations got to me. I imagined, what happens if the baby didn't make it coz I didn't have enough energy, what was I going to answer to my family? It was almost 45 minutes, and finally the baby was out. Too bad his Daddy couldn't be there coz the doctors were about to make a procedure and they had to ask Khairi to leave.When the baby came out, he didn't cry. He didn't have enough oxygen. They placed the baby on my belly while they cut off his umbilical cord. I turned my face away, I couldn't look at him. I'm scared that he was not breathing. When they asked me to confirm his gender, I didn't even get to see his face. They took him away to give him oxygen and cleaned him up. A few moments later I think I heard him cry, a soft, slow cry. I suppose he was a bit weak, and so was I. Moments after that, I dozed off, exhausted. When I woke up, it was already 6.30pm. I called the nurses to help me up and I wanted to see the baby and my family, I wanted to go out. But the baby was already in NICU and I knew my family was waiting outside for me. I switched on my phone (typical Gen Y) and saw lots of messages streaming in. It was amazing and touching to see those messages, asking me how it went. You know la kan, dah jadi Mommy ni semua benda nak touching kan. Hahahah feeling sangat.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The nurse pushed me on the wheelchair and I was grinning and beaming all the way. Mak said that I didn't look like I just gave birth. Hahah! I had less than 5 minutes to spend with my family before I was asked to enter the ward. Oh so sad. They waited for me for more than 12 hours and I only got to see them for 5 minutes. Sedih lagi. Feeling lagi! But it was okay. Everybody was relieved that everything was okay. Alhamdulillah. At 11pm, Khairi came back to the hospital after I buat muka kesian and begged the nurse to let me see the baby. The nurses were okay with it, maybe they knew we were first time parents and are still so giddy giddy hahah. So there we were, 11pm and he was pushing me in the wheelchair to see our baby! While pushing, he told me that the baby had one "defect". I was like, "Oi! Wrong choice of word to describe a newborn yang I tak tengok lagi muka dia dari tadi OMG". Dramatic, remember? It turns out that the baby's ear is a bit like his Daddy's; tikuih gerit. But rasanya as he grows, telinga dia rounded macam normal la. Lol. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So there he was! My Adam! Oh so small, lying in the incubator. His breathing was fast, I could see his chest moving rapidly. I couldn't see his face, though. I was only able to touch his little fingers, and his soft jet black hair. But I was content. Cukup lah dapat pegang sikit-sikit pun takpa. I think I smiled (and snored) in my sleep the whole night. You see, I'm the only one who doesn't have the baby with me in the ward coz Adam was in the NICU. So my sleep was uninterrupted, unlike all the other mothers. I guess it was my cheat day, one last cheat day of sleeping through the night. Teeeheee~</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Adam's first photo!</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The next morning, we went to see baby Adam again. It was 11am. It was feeding time. (macam zoo pulak). It turns out that he was fasting the whole night. Haih kesiannn lahir-lahir dah kena puasa. The feeling when I first touched him? Still so surreal. Can't imagine he was inside me the day before. Luls. Bimbo.</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Trying to wake him for his feed</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Excited Mommy and Daddy!</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Seronok main wheelchair. Luls</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Baru lepas mandi. Muka sembap (?) Muka kacau dia tidoq.</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Bundle of joy</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Kuning. Kena duduk bawah lampu. Dah la kuruih. Sedih! #DramaticMommy</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Going home OOTD<br /></td></tr>
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<br />Rosmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02110486897206128984noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-586231946100720295.post-27260172007586012932015-08-09T15:18:00.003+08:002015-08-09T15:18:54.998+08:00100th Day<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Bismillah..<br />
It is our 100th day of being married. Such a short time frame, but I feel like we are stronger than ever.<br />
I might be senile sometimes but I still remember that day, I still remember every vivid moment. I woke up early in the morning, thinking "Hey, I'm getting married today". Truth be told, I did not feel anything. I mean, I wasn't nervous, no butterflies came buzzing, I wasn't feeling the need to cry, I didn't know how I should feel. All I know is I won't be able to sleep across the bed anymore, in whichever direction and hideous position that I want, lol.</span></div>
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Despite all the feelingless façade, a part of me was freaked out that you would not turn up, mostly because I was imagining that something bad might happen to you along the way like a car accident or something. That certainly topped my fear of you getting cold feet and thinking "No, I don't want to marry this woman" or "What was I thinking?!" or "This is no trophy wife, ditch her!". I'm a woman, I overthink, deal with it. But all those nasty fears simply fade away when I saw your face when you stepped into the house. T</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">he glimpse of your somewhat familiar smile somehow calmed me down.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You see, when I was a little girl, I never really imagined how my wedding day would look like. I never set any expectations, scared that I might be disappointed. I never had any specific color I'm gonna wear, I don't have a specific theme in mind, I didn't let my imagination wander off that far. All I know is I want my future husband to wear that white baju melayu handsomely, and you did it perfectly. All my life, there is only one person who pops into my head when I come across the word "segak", and that is Abah in baju melayu. And now, I have another face that brings significance to that word.<br /><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I still remember, I was peeking through the holed-bricks to catch a glimpse of you. And there you were, smiling widely with no apparent nervousness. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That sight calmed me down a bit, but only just a bit. The gelabah shit came back when Tok Imam arrived and they called me out. I know I wasn't graceful when I came out, I sat down sloppily but heck, all eyes were on me! If it weren't for the bimbs, I would have melted into the pillow. Thanks Bimbs!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Alhamdulillah, everything went smoothly. I was more than happy that it was Abah who gave me away, and when you said the Akad, I couldn't look at you. I was too nervous. When they nodded their "Sah", hundreds of mixed feelings washed over me. Alhamdulillah. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It has been 100 days. So many things have happened. All the tests came almost right away. You had to take care of me when I fell sick on our honeymoon. You wiped those phlegm that came out of my eyes (lol) without any signs of disgust, you drove me back and forth to the clinic in the middle of the night while I snored ungracefully next to you. Such drama, I know. We have been through so much during this short time together and I cannot imagine a day spent without you. I don't care what Ed Sheeran says, but as cheezy as it may sound, I hope we will be together till the end of time. Amiinn.</span></div>
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Rosmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02110486897206128984noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-586231946100720295.post-55733251037972073722014-11-27T21:25:00.003+08:002014-11-27T21:25:44.116+08:00The Perks of Working Together <div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">People think I'm crazy for taking up this opportunity, to jump from one company to another in less than a year. I wasn't really sure myself but hey, things always happen for a reason, don't they? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I leaped from something comfortable into a world of chaos. I switched my mindset from taking things slow to meeting rigid deadlines. I've got to change totally, not knowing how to apply my 8-months-experience in this new place. It all seemed so new and yet so beneficial. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If I had stayed and rejected this offer, I don't know what I can offer to the world in, say, 2 or 3 years time. I won't be able to survive in this industry if I started with a comfortable position. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I went into the new company with a very positive mindset. I've got to stay optimistic, if not for other people, I did it for myself. I need all the motivation and positive circles around me. And up till this day, I honestly haven't regretted making that bold decision back then. Life is tough now, so much to learn, so many things to absorb, so little time. But it's a place where you can learn a lot, It is definitely a field of knowledge. It's where you really do something and people recognize it and appreciate it. It's the "Thanks!" and "Good job!" that count. (Notice the positiveness?)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, speaking of perks, I'm working in the same company as he is currently serving his soul to. Being a self-proclaimed optimist, I am actually enjoying myself over here.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The best part is:-<br />
* Evidently, I get to see him more often! Yeay!<br />
* I like the quick glances and smiles that we exchange everyday despite constantly being on our feet.<br />
* I like having a comfortable lunch partner without the need to pretend to be interested in some boring conversation about kids and vomits and husbands.<br />
* We can vent and rant about colleagues and workloads and totally relate to them.<br />
* We can share about our crushes at work; that tall guy that I like and that cute girl that he's checking out. And yeah, compare who's is hotter.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">* I love it when sometimes he notices something about me that I wasn't aware of like, "Kenapa macam sedih ja?" or "Kat mana? Tak nampak pun?". Aaaaaahhh I know, stupid simple things and boom! Butterfliesssss!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">* I love it when he knows something is wrong and when I'm miserable at work and when he is willing to let me cry my heart out over dinner while listening to me lament about this person and that person and this stupid task and that overdue project and all. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Okay honestly, I really don't know the point of this post but it has been a while, so..</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">All I'm saying is, this post is so full of positivity that I wanna puke. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But all in all, work is tough now and it gets frustrating at times, but he makes it easier and bearable each day. Thanks, luv.</span></div>
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Rosmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02110486897206128984noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-586231946100720295.post-63596332640100743172014-04-19T14:57:00.001+08:002014-04-19T14:58:00.075+08:00Why not?<p dir="ltr"><br>
Now that I am working, there are so many things that I want to buy. During the first month of being an engineer, I started house-hunting. I mean, why not? I have recently graduated from university so why not graduate from my parents’ house altogether? It must be great to have my own place. I’ve read somewhere that you should try and live by yourself before turning 25. I think it is such an achievement to have a place of your own. I’ve been very dependent on my parents all this while. Being the youngest does not really help either. I could if I want to but perhaps I should enjoy my money first before starting a new debt. It is a huge investment for a fresh graduate like yours truly (I still can’t bring myself to think that I am a member of the society. I still think of myself as a student, well, ex-student). Then I started to look at new cars. I mean, why not? It’s about time that I change to a new car. The mechanic in Perak already knew me all too well and the one here already profited thousands of ringgit from us anyway. After all, I have my savings (thanks to Abah) if I really want to buy a new ride, I’m not buying a house just yet, and I’m not getting married anytime soon so I can always topup the money along the way. So yeah, why not? I won’t choose something that is over my budget or anything. I would choose something that will not burden me in the long run in terms of fuel, monthly installments and servicing. But I know it’s hard for me to buy a new one. Abah is such a hurdle to overcome. Okay moving on. So then I started browsing on WOU and I thought, why not? After all, engineering was never my first choice a few years back. So why not try something that I’m really interested in? I already have that Degree, it is like a license for me to continue in something else? Oh well, one can only dream.</p>
<p dir="ltr">So yeah, my mind is fickle like that. Before this I am restricted in doing so many things since I am a student and still too young and all. But now that I am all grown up and working, why not?</p>
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Rosmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02110486897206128984noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-586231946100720295.post-60709632559086288642014-03-25T22:51:00.000+08:002014-03-25T22:51:11.928+08:00My heart goes out to the families of MH370's passengers and crews.<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It’s a sad day, a very sad day indeed. I woke up today with a heavy heart, thinking about what the families of the crews and passengers feel when they wake up today, that is if they can sleep. I drove to work feeling somber, accompanied by the melancholic songs played by all the radio stations to mark that the whole nation is grieving together. You know how people say that songs can alleviate or change your mood. But today’s list of songs just gave me chills down the spine. It’s amazing how all the lyrics can fit into this situation like a glove. All the songs are about losing someone, about how sorry they are for not being there, about the last smiles and laughters they shared, and about giving up. If I, the person who is not directly related to the victims, can have these mixed emotions and sadness wash all over me, I can only imagine how the family members really feel.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After days of endless questions and doubts, hopes and fears, we have reached to this fearful end. I don’t even know if we can call this “the end” because no definite evidences have been found. It’s all algorithms and technologies and assumptions. I don’t blame the search and rescue team, though. They have definitely done their very best, no doubt at that. If I were one of the family members, I would accept this fate that God has arranged. But I would want answers, real and concrete answers. I mean, sure, we can conclude that it crashed in the Southern Indian Sea, but how? I’m no aviation geek (like some of us have been these past few weeks), but I think if the black box is discovered, it would be such a revelation. We can stop all these cruel assumptions and theories and speculations about what happened to the aircraft. We can put the families and friends at ease by giving them proper closure.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">However, despite all the sadness and the grieving, it is amazing how vast the difference is between the reactions of the families when they received the news. Some were enraged, blaming the authorities, claiming that they were hiding information and delaying the rescue process. Some were hysterical, some were still hopeful, and some just gave in to the emotional wreck. But I can see that some were calm, accepting the dreadful news as God’s fate, something that He has arranged, believing that it is Him who created us, and it is to Him that we go back to, despite the time and place. I think that this way of acceptance helps to lighten the burden of living the truth and reality that our loved ones are gone forever. It is by this way that we do not blame each other, because we can never be powerful enough to ask of God’s plans and arrangements. It helps us to start our grieving process instead of creating a war. But I never personally felt this so I can only imagine. If I were one if the family members or friends of the victims, I don’t know which category I would fall into. I’m not quite sure on how I will react. Will I wail hysterically for my loss? Will I just sit there, dumbfounded, thinking about the could-have-beens? Or will I send out my prayers to them, hoping that they didn’t suffer much and asking them to meet me when my time comes? I just don’t know.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I hope this mystery will be solved soon, all the answers and doubts be cleared soon. I hope the black box is discovered soon. Put them at ease. It’s time for us to go back to God and remember our place. No sophisticated technology or hi-tech man-made creations can ever defy God’s power. Always go back to God.</span><br />
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<br />Rosmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02110486897206128984noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-586231946100720295.post-63543447060845267302014-02-08T21:33:00.001+08:002014-02-08T21:44:26.504+08:00Goodbye my dear..<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Bismillah..</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I lost my phone today. It was me being negligent. It was totally my fault, I won't deny it. It's been seven hours now, and I still can't seem to let out a curse. I miss my phone. I wailed when I discovered that it was missing. Well, I might be exaggerating. When I noticed it was missing, I still managed to keep my cool and ask the person in charge and all the <i>banglas </i>to help me find it. I still managed to smile and say thank you when their search was to no avail. When they left, the sobbing started, which progressed to weeping and finally wailing. I could say that my phone was everything, <i>everything. </i>If not everyone, at least I tried to keep in touch with at least a friend on a daily basis because I don't want us to fall apart just because of the distance. We shared everything, our photos, our stories, our sobs and our laughters. The phone was my alarm clock, it was my planner, my notepad when the need to scribble something arises, my undercover when I was avoiding someone, it was my companion. Everybody knows that it almost never left my hand, until today. I need to stop thinking and crying over it. I have to accept the fact that I've lost it. I can't believe I could be so emotional over a lost phone. It's just material. But it held a lot of what's in my head, that's why I am so devastated. I have to accept now. I've been thinking of a prayer or a curse for the thief, but I still can't come up with anything just yet, probably never. I have to accept that god is trying to teach me a lesson here. Maybe I shouldn't spend too much time on the phone up to a point where I neglect Him. Or maybe I should actually read the Quran instead of just downloading the application. Or maybe He is testing my patience, see how far I would go and blame everything else. Or maybe He wants me to remember the sins that I have done and come back to Him. Simple thing, just a lost phone. And I couldn't help but feel very guilty towards Him. It is like, I must be drifting too far away that He needs to bring me back to shore by making me realize that it was Him who arranged it to be that way and it must be for a reason. He won't do it simply to see his servant suffer. There must be a reason that thing incident happened. Also, it could have been worse. I could lost the whole bag, with all my money and IC and everything. Or I could maybe be hurt, or even worse, killed. Not that I am being dramatic or anything, but I have to think that it could have been worse. Other people have had worse things. So I shouldn't sit and wail and lament over this for too long. I should start reflecting. And yeah, buy a new phone ;)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">By the way, the day started out very well. I was so happy when I woke up today. So last night's dream was not very good, in fact, God is already giving me a signal that something bad is happening. I swear I am not being some over religious psychotic freak or anything, but it's true. But I was still over the moon when I started the day. I had everything planned out perfectly. Go and have a meal that I have longed for so long, then catch a movie that he wanted to watch since forever, then enjoy the breeze and watch the ocean (or whatever it is that you call in Straits Quay) and later on eat some <i>pasembor </i>or <i>rojak</i> and catch the ferry back to the mainland. Such a nice plan. But I still managed to complete some of them. I managed to do the first two plans and the latter. The ferry part was the best. I don't know why. Maybe because I've always loved watching the ocean and I remembered that I used to look for jellyfish there when I was much much younger. I was still captivated and excited when it comes to ferry rides. I guess a little bit of my childhood was still there. See? God doesn't take everything from you. He still leaves a space for you to be thankful about, although you were not His number one servant. </span>Rosmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02110486897206128984noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-586231946100720295.post-81818756374782356792014-01-02T08:15:00.001+08:002014-01-02T21:53:10.474+08:00Cheezay.<div dir="ltr">
I've never really ever written anything about you here, so here it goes. Happy anniversary! I'm not really sure when it started but you called me for the first time on my birthday two years ago the same way you did last night and I can say that the sparks were there. It's just that I wasn't sure at that time so I hesitated. Plus, I just got out of a relationship and I don't want to seem promiscuous by jumping from one guy to another. And at that time, I was sure I could relate to Britney's "Oops I did it again, I played with your heart. Got lost in the game. Oh baby baby. Oops you think I'm in love. That I'm sent from abooooove. I'm not that innocent". But now, every love song is about you. Yes, feel free to puke, even I want to puke right now. Hahah. Thank you for everything. I appreciate this two years that we've shared and I'm looking forward for another half a century of my life, hopefully with you, if God wills. Yesterday was so much fun. I didn't feel the clock stop, it just went on, not giving us enough time to spend with each other. Oh well. There was too much to celebrate yesterday; my first pay, your bonus, my birthday and our anniversary. Thanks for the gifts. I just wanted to test you, whether you wouldn't mind spending for someone who doesn't have any blood relation with you or not. And yes, that's just an excuse, actually I really want that thing hahaha. Thank you dear. I hope we both have a smooth path, which ever one we choose. Hah there! I've lost my muse six years ago and I've found it now. Thank you dear.</div>
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Rosmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02110486897206128984noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-586231946100720295.post-32049158136201134522013-12-14T23:54:00.001+08:002013-12-14T23:54:06.822+08:00A friend of mine<p dir=ltr>I've got this one friend that I knew when I was in Form 4. He sits in front of me in class. He's the quiet one, a shy guy. He used to turn around in his seat and asked me to teach him English. Not that I was a great teacher but I was more than glad to help. He'll ask me anytime whenever he's having problems, even during our class dinner. They said that he's from a poor family. His dad is sick and his mum used to send him to the hostel on a <i>kapcai. </i>I didn't remember the exact date but after school, his dad got very sick and died soon after. And I heard that his father died a few days before my friend's interview for an opportunity to study abroad. So he missed the interview and stayed here. A few years later, I heard that he's already in Australis doing Architecture or Interior Design, something like that. Then he got married to a nice-looking girl. I think i wasn't the only one who was shocked. He is the quiet one and yet he is the first in our class to get married. Today, as i am scrolling my timeline, I saw photos of his graduation day in Aussie with his wife by his side. I am so proud of him. Really proud. We never really bonded that long, but I am so proud of him. He's been through a lot. And he's pursuing what he loves most, design. He's always been this great artist in our class. I think he even designed our class t-shirt. I am not really fond of my classmates but he is one of them that I will always remember. The thing that I remembered most is his eagerness to learn and when he used to ask me to check his every essay and sentences and look at him now. He's surviving in a foreign country. If you can study and graduate in a land other than your own, I would say he didn't only survive; he aced it.</p>
Rosmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02110486897206128984noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-586231946100720295.post-86594075598778739252013-12-05T20:07:00.001+08:002013-12-05T20:07:58.539+08:00That trip.<p dir=ltr>Honestly, I do not regret one bit for choosing to work near home. I wouldn't trade taking my mum to the hospital with a job that gives me an extra thousand ringgit. I wouldn't.</p>
Rosmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02110486897206128984noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-586231946100720295.post-58088659519836227992013-12-03T19:07:00.001+08:002013-12-03T19:07:19.654+08:007.06 PM<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It is the one interview that I wasn't too excited about because the company has no Wiki page. It is the one interview that I was late to. And by late, I mean just a mere ten minutes before the interview started. Usually, I'll arrive one hour prior the designated time. I was late because the stupid Waze showed me a different route to a different place which is entirely at the other side of the place I'm actually heading to. Since I can't rely on technology, which is what I've been doing for the past 23 years of my life, I decided to follow my hunch. Seeing that I don't have enough time especially with the heavy traffic, my head was making up devious plans. I was coming up with all sorts of excuses to why I didn't attend the interview. Even worse, I planned to go and have a breakfast somewhere and go back home two hours later, telling my parents how smooth the interview went. But I got there in time. I could say that God led me there because maybe He has something planned for me. Okay stop being so dramatic. Practically, my sister led me there because I panicked and I realized that I ended up in front of her office so I called her for directions and she led me straight to Ibiden. It is the one interview that actually hired me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've been to a few interview myself. Sure it's not some big shot companies but the experience is there. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I guess you could bluff them, impress them or say whatever during an interview. You shouldn't hold anything back.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> You could bluff them if you want, as long as you'll work it out later. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You can tell them that you have nothing against travelling, even though your parents wouldn't let you work even a little more than 100km from them. You can bullshit all you want, sell yourself, make yourself look good and valuable. If they like your bullshits, they'll hire you. If they don't, then you'll never see their faces again. So? What's the worst that could happen? Alhamdulillah. I'm glad I got this job because of me, myself. Not because someone helped me or recommended me or arranged an interview or something. I'm glad I got this offer fair and square.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Although I must say, I feel a bit undeserving of this gift from God. I was ashamed to be so lucky and to be given this opportunity at this time. I have to admit that I wasn't His most humble and pious servant but He blessed me anyway. The one thing that I am really afraid of right now is if this is an istidraj. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><i>"Rasullulah s. a. w. bersabda :”Apabila kamu melihat bahawa Allah Taala memberikan nikmat kepada hambanya yang selalu membuat maksiat(durhaka),ketahuilah bahawa orang itu telah diistidrajkan oleh Allah SWT.”(Diriwayatkan oleh At-Tabrani, Ahmad dan Al-Baihaqi)</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><i>Tetapi, manusia yang durhaka dan sering berbuat maksiat yang terkeliru dengan pemikirannya merasakan bahawa nikmat yang telah datang kepadanya adalah kerana Allah berserta dan kasih dengan perbuatan maksiat mereka. Masih ada juga orang ragu-ragu, kerana kalau kita hendak dapat kebahagian di dunia dan akhirat kita mesti ikut jejak langkah Rasullulah saw dan berpegang teguh pada agama Islam."</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">Nauzubillah.</span></div>
Rosmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02110486897206128984noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-586231946100720295.post-17517961188665224132013-11-29T01:20:00.001+08:002013-11-29T01:20:41.669+08:00Good bye new grads!<p dir=ltr>When I finally work and have my first paycheck, I'm gonna prepare a few envelopes. One is for a new mattress, these springs are killing me! Another is for my skincare coz mom is always saying that I should wear sufficient face cream now so that I'll look younger when I'm her age. Next, maybe I'll indulge a little bit. There'll be an envelope for a new Fossil purse, wow talk about being specific. Well I've got a Jedi to blame for all these expensive taste. Well, maybe not that expensive for someone with a starting salary of RM5000 but it is still expensive for me. Okay I'm being defensive, so shut up. So far, that's all I can think of. After budgeting and deducting all the necessary expenditures and savings, I guess I could spare a few ringgit each month for these envelopes :)</p>
Rosmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02110486897206128984noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-586231946100720295.post-9036274767537141672013-11-17T07:00:00.001+08:002013-11-17T07:04:06.139+08:00Oh well nothing to do, so yeah.<p dir=ltr>Good morning! From the longest and the most frustrating traffic jam ever. Urgh! Apparently everyone's trying to catch a ferry to Penang since the bridge is closed for the run blablabla which is where we should be right now blablabla unfortunately we are stuck here blablabla. Oh well. </p>
Rosmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02110486897206128984noreply@blogger.com0Butterworth, Butterworth5.428295 100.386955tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-586231946100720295.post-89391220123704096942013-11-09T10:57:00.001+08:002013-11-09T10:57:49.617+08:00I-cannot-sum-everything-up-for-a-titleBismillahirrahmanirrahim.<br />
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I really don't know how to start this post. I don't know where to start, actually. I really don't know how to spill all these emotions because no words will ever be enough to describe how I feel right now. So I'm just gonna spill.<br />
<br />
So..I've graduated (yeay!). I saw that some of them were not very excited for this event. They said that it's just a silly ceremony where you go up the stage to receive some fake scroll and smile at the camera. They said "What's with all the fuss?". Let me tell you what the fuss is all about. It's when you've struggled so hard to get to where you are now, it's when you've been succeeding all through your life and suddenly you hit rock bottom and you get back up on your feet and stand again, it's when you're on the verge of giving up and suddenly there's a hint of light. That's what the fuss is all about.<br />
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I have been very lucky during my younger days. I was the top student every year since kindergarten up till the end of primary school. In high school, I got into the best school in town and got the chance to compete with the best of the best. I aced all the public examinations during school days by getting straight A's in each and every one of them. Alhamdulillah. I must say that Allah has been very generous to me. He gave me opportunities and success along the way. After high school, I got offered to a few of the best institutions in the country. I have shortlisted Engineering and Medicine for my future, and I got both offers. All I have to do is make a choice. Allah has been very generous indeed. I guess I love Medicine and Biology because it fascinates me more than machines and transistors ever did. But love alone is not enough. I've got to be ready to memorize things in order to ace in Medicine. So I chose a safer choice, which is Engineering (who says it was safe?). So I wasn't really into Physics, but I guess lots of practice can make you understand. That was what I was holding to when I registered myself into Universiti Teknologi Petronas.<br />
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I've been to a school where all the smart kids and competitors are Chineses and Indians. I'm not being racist here. I'm just saying that we all know how hardworking they are. And we all know how the Malays are. I thought the competition was very high so I fleed and entered MRSM where majority of the students there are Malays. So the pressure was not that high and I studied like how I used to. Looking back to that day, I wished I didn't leave those competitions. I should have stayed and fought. I could really use the experience because when I entered uni, the competition is much higher. Besides the Chineses and Indians, there are other foreigners who are a lot more competitive compared to the locals.<br />
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During the school days, getting an A was easy. Once, I got a B during primary school and my mum was very angry, she chased me around the house. I even cried when I got my first B. When I got into uni, getting an A was incredibly hard. I was so used to getting them easily that I had a hard time adapting. Everything was a struggle. Sure, I have all the great people as friends, but it was not enough to help me cope and grab for a float when I was slowly sinking in. I fell down really hard, and I blame it all on myself. I was down to the point of quitting uni. I wrote some last goodbyes and sent them to my few bestfriends. I drove all the way there to sign the paperwork for me to be a quitter again. I met up with some friends and they made me rethink again. And my family, God knows how much I've shattered their dreams. God knows how much they've been disappointed in me and how they couldn't comprehend what was happening. Some put on their brave faces, some just fell apart, inside. My dearest, you have no idea how I was doing at that time. I was driving alone up there, God knows what I could have done, what I was thinking about. God knows how I was tearing apart, what I have done to them and to myself. That was the lowest point in my life.<br />
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I guess some people still believe in me, and a little part of me still thinks that I am not a quitter. So I stayed. I crawled back up. I didn't get back to the peak, but I was safe. That's what makes the convocation mean so much to me. Because it means that I am not a quitter. So I didn't get first class or anything. But I managed to finish the race. And I have all the people who believed in me that day. My precious family, my friends. Everyone had an effect in me. Absolutely everyone. Each one of them have touched my life and gave me a reason to stay and become who I am today. Alhamdulillah. Thank you so much for this.<br />
<br />Rosmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02110486897206128984noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-586231946100720295.post-51205198102635061192013-10-24T13:24:00.001+08:002013-10-24T13:28:10.869+08:00I want to go to that cemetery! <p dir="ltr">Here is another book by Audrey Niffenegger. She just likes to meddle with all the forbidden things. You could say that maybe she's out of the box. She used to write about time travelling and now she's writing about death and what happens next.<br>
This book has all sorts of wrong in it. It is more wrong than how some people say that Percy Jackson is misleading to Muslims. You should really read this, little guy. It's not even reincarnation. It's like, you'll never really die. You'll just float around and can move the Ouija board or write with dusts on the piano. Your soul will just linger until I don't know when. I was waiting for revelations of any unfinished business but there was none. I love the chemistry between the twins though. But I wish they'd explain more on the twins' relationship. They are very unique and I'd love to know more about them. And I love the way the author revolved the story around Highgate Cemetery. She made the place of death sound more interesting than eerie. But of course, it is a tourist site after all. If I have the money and time, I would surely go there. And I love the twist between Elspeth and Edie. I have never expected that! Well, maybe I am not much of a spoiler person. I love to read through the pages without any sneak peak of the last page. And I hate it when people give me spoilers on movies that I haven't watched. And I don't like it when people are guessing what will happen next when we're watching movies. Just let it be! Hahah well everyone has their own way of watching so let it be. Anyway, back to the book, towards the end, somehow I managed to anticipate what will happen long before the main character does. I was also waiting for the ghost to turn aggressive and starts haunting people but it never got to that. Although there's a ghost (a few, actually) in this book, but it is certainly not stacked in the horror shelf. And I hate it because it had to end that way. Oh well. Not all books will leave you grinning for days. <br>
Oh well. Off to the next book!<br>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfiQaq0mei46B9Kc77OtYluGEM0qWCg9PhCQVRkdNc-kRfgb921kGBNwfIX82k76Kaoh13ja6h-3A4jW2BkdMlF2hrkP5UjtLN8KKEeDYZ9QZsRJstoAZw5hYE4FUcIH2aqRYABT6ITCwx/s1600/20131024_130058.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfiQaq0mei46B9Kc77OtYluGEM0qWCg9PhCQVRkdNc-kRfgb921kGBNwfIX82k76Kaoh13ja6h-3A4jW2BkdMlF2hrkP5UjtLN8KKEeDYZ9QZsRJstoAZw5hYE4FUcIH2aqRYABT6ITCwx/s640/20131024_130058.jpg"> </a> </div>Rosmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02110486897206128984noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-586231946100720295.post-27706504484142025872013-10-21T20:25:00.001+08:002013-10-21T20:31:59.765+08:00All mushy and snuggled upThe weather is so blankety-friendly that it is so hard to get out of bed. I find myself getting in and out of bed for multiple times today. It has been raining almost all day long and I love every single moment of it. It is so wet and damp and clammy (I know "clammy" is not very suitable to describe it but it just feels like it so what the hell) and I just love being under the covers. Despite all the annoying hormone turbulence, I am in a good mood. So far everything is working out as planned, Alhamdulillah. And I must say that the day started out pretty well, mostly because I had this wonderful dream last night. Well, it wasn't entirely wonderful. In that dream, I broke my heels (I mean, the shoes) which consequently leads to a broken tooth with all that blood and everything. And I was on my way to this one place where everyone needs to be in a capsule or something (probably because I've been seeing a lot of my niece's Kinder Joys) and I didn't get one. So Faizal Hussein (I think I used to have a crush on him when I was younger..and also when he was way younger and much handsome and less skeleton-ish like right now) got into a capsule and I tagged along or something. I managed to arrive at the destination that was supposed to be the last stop of all humankind and so I was safe. But I wasn't happy. So there goes the hormonal attack even in my dreams! I was being a typical woman, feeling down and sad even though I have survived the so-called disaster where everyone needs to escape using the capsule thingy. I wanted to be by myself but I didn't want to be alone. I wanted to talk to someone but I didn't feel like talking. Oh you know, all the shitty mood swings we creatures have. So there I was, walking around, all welled up in self pity, feeling lonely blablabla. And when I turned around, I saw Jason Segel behind me, grinning stupidly just to cheer me up. I don't know why but i really like him and he's not even that handsome or tough. Maybe because I love the chemistry between him and Lily in How I Met Your Mother and how huge he is and how small Lily. So maybe I was relating it to me and someone. Oh by the way, I'll always relate myself to one of the characters when I watch something. I don't know why but it is becoming a habit. Maybe that way, I'll enjoy the movie more. Anywaysss, so here I am, all mushed up all day long thinking about the dream and I'm ransacking my external hard drive for more Jason's movies. With this cold weather, I just want to be all snuggled up under the covers watching a chick flick with Jason in it. Watching a new unwatched movie would mean that I will have to take a risk. So I'm watching something that I've watched before, which is The Five-Year Engagement :D<br />
Okay that's practically how I can explain about the relationship between the weather and why I am watching this movie again now. Defensive much?<br />
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Oh maybe because he's got the same smile and physique of my man :)</div>
Rosmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02110486897206128984noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-586231946100720295.post-61855414920984233762013-10-13T03:06:00.001+08:002013-10-13T03:06:43.265+08:00Baby, it's cold outside..<p dir=ltr>One of the best feelings in the world is retreating after a long and tiring day. The bed feels extra comfy as I lay here staring at the ceiling. Especially after taking a hot bath and it starts to rain outside. I can feel the duvet covering every inches of my body Okay it is starting to sound like a cheap romance paperback, like Mills and Boon or those books that my Mom read during her single days. All I'm saying is, it is such a beautiful little bliss. You can find happiness and comfort in little things. Don't make me write down OneD's lyrics here. Enjoy while you still can. So you haven't got a job yet? Live life! This is the chance to stay up at late at night doing whatever you want, sleep in a little bit in the morning, go downstairs and hug your mum anytime you want. Cook for them (yeah, I'm still learning. Shut up, don't judge me), clean the house for them (this reminds me that I need to vacuum the house tomorrow), and just take care of them. Soon you'll be working eight to five and you'll come home late. Chances are you'll be working away from home so you won't get to see your parents very often. Next you'll be moving on to the next chapter in your life, you'll either get married and have your own family, or maybe move to another city to pursue your dreams. Typical, yeah. But it's mostly reality. So, make use of the time you have now. Use this few short months to repay the 23 years that your parents have spent on you. This is mainly a reminder to myself, actually. Coz I'm only human and I tend to forget, and in my case, being senile and all.<br>
Alhamdulillah for this chance.<br>
InsyaAllah it will be of good use.<br></p>
<p dir=ltr>Note to self: <br>
Read this over and over again when you feel like drifting.</p>
Rosmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02110486897206128984noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-586231946100720295.post-28767607859694625622013-09-13T00:18:00.001+08:002013-09-13T00:18:41.168+08:00Infinite Holidays<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After my SPM, people told me that that is the longest holiday that I'll ever have. So I considered whether I should work part-time or start looking for the best university in the country (since Abah forbids anyone of us from studying abroad). I went for an interview for Shell (the petrol station, not the scholarship) but got rejected (darn). So I decided to laze around the house for the next few months that was supposed to be my longest holiday. I had lots of plans during that specific period of time. I wanted to take a writing course, Abah wanted to send me for piano lessons (little did he know that these fingers are so not soft enough for pianos), me and my sister bought a guitar and I vowed to be able to play by the time I got into uni. Hmm..now that I've listed that down, I noticed that nothing was achieved. Loser. So I spent the holidays reading books, and developing my very first blog (that I've deleted), and started chatting around and downloading songs. Wow. Now that I've listed them down, I can see how I've wasted my holidays back then.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And then I went into uni. We've got the occasional 2-months-break at first. Nothing fun was done. I just stayed at home, got online each and every night, read some books and stuff, went out every weekend, and practically lazed around. Then my little niece came into the world and I spent the holidays being her nanny. I loved those kind of holidays. Then we've got that 4-months-holiday. I decided to work. I became a sales girl for a shop selling computers and laptops. I guess I did have my fun. I worked but I got to re-read almost five of the Harry Potter books. And there was my internship, I considered this as a holiday since I was at home and I got to read books! I think I read almost six or seven books during that period of time. I was so happy. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So now that I've finished my degree, I've got an infinite holiday. Who says your longest holiday was after SPM? This is my longest holiday, because it is infinite. Because I won't know when will it end. So I've arranged for a few activities to be completed. I hope I can complete them all.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1. Re-read the Quran</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2. Finish the books that I have waited so long to read</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">3. Finish up Desperate Housewives, Supernatural, Family Guy, and all those series (okay this will be more than infinite)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">4. Learn how to cook</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">5. Mak wants me to learn how to sew, so..</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">6. It seems that I'll be home for a long time, so I wanna decorate this room</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That's more or less of what I wanna do. Hopefully everything comes true. Aminn. </span>Rosmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02110486897206128984noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-586231946100720295.post-82073658675228896252013-08-22T01:44:00.000+08:002013-08-22T01:44:22.378+08:00Comfort<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">People tell me to get out of my comfort zone. Get out of Kedah. There are lots of opportunities to be grabbed, lots of new experience to be gained, lots of people to befriended with. But looking into my parents' eyes, I'd rather miss those opportunities rather than miss the chance to take care of them as they're growing old. I'm sure they've missed some of their own opportunities when I was smaller. Why not return the favour while they're still alive. </span><br />
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Rosmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02110486897206128984noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-586231946100720295.post-73679469779921490732013-08-21T01:01:00.000+08:002013-08-21T01:01:07.050+08:00Coffee and cupcakes<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-MY">Or maybe open a café with freshly-brewed
coffee and freshly-baked cookies stashed in a big glass jar. A place like
Karen’s Café in One Tree Hill. I’m gonna put on nice music, or maybe make a
theme for each day of the week. Friday could be some romantic, lovey dovey
songs, Saturday could be the 100 greatest rock songs of the 90’s, and the next
day could be all the 80’s or 70’s oldies the goodies, and some other day can be
instrumental. I’ll put huge comfy couches by the window, and a piano in the
spotlight. And once a week someone can come and play live music for all of us.
People can come in for hot coffee and cupcakes, or just a plain homemade
biscuit with a glass of milk. And when I have enough profit, I’ll open a dusty
old bookstore next door. Although it’s gonna be a new shop, I’ll make sure
it’ll be old and dusty. It’s raining when I wrote this so I can’t help but
think of warm thoughts.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Rosmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02110486897206128984noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-586231946100720295.post-78359395554934092312013-08-14T17:03:00.000+08:002013-08-14T20:18:16.012+08:00Panic Attacks<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you ask me what I really want to do in the near future, I want to do a lot of things. I want to get a second degree, I want to learn about medicine. Not the one where I'll be a doctor, but I just love the facts about how our body functions and responds. I don't give a damn about which direction the current flows and I couldn't care less about which signal to be sent to open a valve. I want to know about human body, their psychological behavior emotions, acts, chemical reactions, blood, brain, everything. Biology still excites me up to this point. I want to learn about the greatest invention ever known; humans. But I want to know them as facts, not to be memorized and spilled over continuous examinations. I want to learn, not memorize. And if I have the time, I want to polish up my English. I want to learn English. Some say, "What's there to learn about English?". Oh there are lots more, my dear. I want my English to be perfect. And with that, I want to write songs. Songs about what I have been through, about what I want but couldn't have. I promise I won't be like Taylor Swift. And I want to write stories, short novels or anything. I want to pursue in something that I enjoy doing, that I have passion in. But of course, my passion doesn't necessarily pay the bills. The thought of having a 9-5 laboring schedule doesn't really amuse me. But then again, who is? But I still need to pay the bills so I guess I might as well get my degree into good use. I'll find a job, somehow. I'll save enough money and hopefully get to send my parents for another pilgrimage. Or maybe all of us. And I'll remember to pay my sisters and brother back for everything they have done for me while I was growing up; money, time, hopefully everything. And I want to get married. Mum, please stop worrying about my hair being too short or why I am buying shirts at the Men's Department and how attracted I am to that Fossil leather watch that is so-called designed for men. I have needs, mum. So I would want to get married someday. And if I do, I hope I won't repeat any bad history by bringing in some lunatic or psychopath into our family. And I hope even if I get married, I'll have enough time and money to spend with my family and friends. And before getting married and being a so-called good wife, I want to be a great daughter to my parents first. I want to cook for them, I want to care for them, and I want them to be proud of me since I can't remember the last time that they did. </span><br />
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I don't want to dream too big or too far away. But that is practically what I really want in the near future but I don't think I can have them all. For now, I need to focus on graduating and getting a job. Then I can start worrying about paying the loans and buying a new car and maybe a house in the suburbs (and by suburbs I would mean Kulim) and get married and have kids and live happily ever after. Perceptions and expectations Parents', family's, friends'. Who has the most expensive car? Who lives in a great villa? Who has the most lavish wedding? Which one of us will end up with the most handsome lad or stunning lass? Who has the cutest and most well-behaved babies? </span><br />
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And now you tell me not to be pressured or stressed in this last few weeks of my university life?</span>Rosmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02110486897206128984noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-586231946100720295.post-27918734097051235942013-08-11T02:30:00.000+08:002013-08-11T02:30:16.895+08:00Final straw.<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You've only got another one month left. Another four more weeks to go. Don't be yourself. Forget all the sweetness of sleeping for a while. Forget about those movies that are begging to be watched. Forget about all the fun, just for a little while. These four weeks can help make your future if not much, a little bit better than how it looks like right now. Yeah, these four coming weeks won't be a bliss, won't be a 5-star hotel stay. But it'll be worth it if you spend it right. So it might be a bit of a living hell. Make it bearable by spending the last moments with those around you. You've had your 10-day holiday. You've had your chance of literally doing nothing else except sleeping and eating. As they say, YOLO. This is the last time that you'll ever be as young as you are now. Make it worth it. Make it worth every freaking dime that you paid, every single cent. Make it worth it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Bismillahirrahmaanirrahim.</span>Rosmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02110486897206128984noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-586231946100720295.post-35748486181632752272013-06-11T19:50:00.003+08:002013-06-11T19:50:59.206+08:00Stars <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I couldn't sleep last night. I just laid there tossing and turning, imagining this and that, until it was 3 am and I imagined something horrifying with long hair and dripping blood was on my table by the open windows and curtains. Okay by that time, I closed my eyes tight and started counting sheep. I think I dozed off around 4 am. I don't know why. I woke up early in the morning but continued sleeping, my energy is not totally replenished yet. I snoozed and snoozed and entered different kinds of dreams but with the same characters; my mom and dad and sisters and brother. After almost twelve hours of waking up, of course I remember nothing from the dream. But it was all the same plot, more or less the same. I fully woke up at 11.45 am, with a dear longing of going home. I got up and looked at the pillows on the unmade bed, the washed clothes in the basket, the mess on the table, the Final Year Project waiting for any hint of progress. I'm in no cheerful mood today. Went for lunch, got back for class 10 minutes late, went for Plant Process Control Systems lab and did the experiment for almost four hours. At the end of the day, we were exhausted. But when the lab technologist told us that this is the best result that he has ever seen for years, all the exhaustion seems to disappear. I feel like everything paid off. Although we did miss our Zohor prayers and felt really bad (will manage our time better next time). When I was climbing up and down the ladders there, I thought to myself, "Hey you over there. Remember the lab that we visited almost five years ago during our Educamp together? Yeah, well I'm in my final semester now and finally I'm using this lab. The lab where we used to share the same oxygen". Hahaha cheezy much? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Okay this is a denial state. I should be doing my FYP and here I am blabbering about nothing. No no, not nothing. So what I'm saying is, although my day started quite <i>hambar </i>and <i>lemau </i>today, but at the end of the day, God always give you something good to smile about. Who says life is not fair? Then he is not thankful enough. It is fair that sometimes you face hardships and sometimes you'll be filled with happiness. Oh let's not talk about happiness. Let's just say that comfort is a privilege nowadays. At least there are stars in your night sky instead of bombs. So you woke up on the wrong side of the bed? Boo-hoo. Don't have to go around moping all day. </span>Rosmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02110486897206128984noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-586231946100720295.post-59568111013890767812013-04-09T05:03:00.002+08:002013-04-09T05:06:55.348+08:003 June 2016<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's ironic again, you see, how the person you hold dearest can break your heart into pieces. Watch any sad movies, have a fight with your boyfriend, bicker with friends; those tears will never be the same like the ones that your dearest one cause. In fact, I've never cried because of a fight with the boyfriend, and the last movie that I cried over was "I Am Sam" which is about a down-syndrome father who is fighting for the custody of his child. Thank you for giving me a new record of crying and sobbing uncontrollably because I simply can't remember the last time I was in that state. And thank you for giving me a short scene of looking out the windows of the train with tears streaming down the face and only the sunlight to dry the glistening tears. Aahhh such a drama scene. This might be a new start of rebellion, a new beginning of alteration. And suddenly the stupid Pink song blabbing on going back to the happy times and whatnot blaring through the speakers. Thank you, thank you. I knew it was too good to be true. Let's fast forward to the big escape in three years time. I'll hold on to that for the time being. InsyaAllah. Amiinn.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Oh and if I'm dead and you somehow found this little blog of mine, you'll know that the posts here are mostly about you. Thank you.</span>Rosmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02110486897206128984noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-586231946100720295.post-84947218292008336462013-04-02T13:22:00.000+08:002013-04-02T13:22:15.323+08:00Act like a girl<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's ironic you see. When you get married, you are suddenly very obedient. You need to follow your husband's orders, you need to get your husband's permission to go out of the house. If not, you will be considered <i>"derhaka" </i>and will be very sinful. Do you realize that you have had this responsibilities back when you are your parents' children? Did you really obey everything that your parents said back then? Did you ask for their permission everytime you're going out? This is just to name a few. Well, I know I didn't. So that makes me a not-so-obedient child to my parents. So why should I be a very-obedient wife to my husband? I'm not against marriage or men or anything. It just occurred to me. If I want to be a good or obedient wife, I need to be an extra extra obedient daughter first, right? I'm sure my parents deserve more than anyone else. I don't know. This post was intended to be one of those I-love-my-parents post because I miss them so much, I look at their photos late at night because I miss them and they promised they would come visit me today but cancelled last night with the excuse of I need to study. So I spent the whole morning sleeping, devastated. I was imagining everything perfectly in my mind, all the hugs and kisses. Well, thank you for nothing. This is me studying, thank you very much. It's 1.20pm and I'm still stuck in the room and I haven't seen anyone else. Plus, a phone call from home, reporting the situations at home, makes me want to crawl back under the covers and shut everything down.</span>Rosmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02110486897206128984noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-586231946100720295.post-29346127962788789972012-12-07T22:11:00.000+08:002012-12-07T22:11:38.368+08:00"Must" and "Want"<u><b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To-do List</span></b></u><br />
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<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Internship final presentation</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Internship final report</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2-week laundry </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Kemas bilik yang literally like a pig sty</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Lipat kain yang still kat penyidai</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Catch up on the latest HIMYM episodes</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Listen to recently downloaded songs</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Actually play the games in my android phone</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Catch up on the latest news and gossips with friends</span></li>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I can easily differentiate between the "Must" and the "Want". Certainly unintentional.</span></div>
Rosmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02110486897206128984noreply@blogger.com0