You never know what you got till it's gone

I have a lot to write about but I don't have the time and by the time that I have the time, I have forgotten completely about the perfect sentences that was formed in my head when I didn't have the time earlier. Okay I'm babbling.

The thing is, I miss my Maktok. She passed away more than a year now. When it was about one year after her death, I started to have dreams about her, gruesome ones. Ones that I couldn't bear to share with my mom. One of them is, she was hanging rope-less facing the ceiling, in the same jubah that she used to wear, with a spear through her torso. And I was staring up, looking at this..this..incident.

Now, I drive past her house everyday. Sometimes I regretted for not calling her more often when she was alive, or visiting her more frequently.

There was this one time, Tun Dr Mahathir came for an event in UTP. He looked so much like my grandmother that I called her right after the event. I missed her at that time. And she sounded so happy when I called her. Why oh why didn't I call her more often after that? It's true, huh? You never know what you got till it's gone. I'm trying not to regret all these things. Maybe it's for the better. Maybe if she is still alive, she'll be in more pain and sufferings. Despite all the drama and scenes in the family, I think when someone passed away, it's better to think of the good memories rather than the bad ones. Grudges will get you nowhere anyway.

Make you go la la la

I have this weird condition of having a perfect song describing my current situation subconsciously. How do I explain this?

Okay for example, I had a bad wake up call today. My niece was crying all morning (nampak sangat tidoq balik lepas subuh), interrupting my beauty sleep. So today I got out of bed groggily with a not-so-good mood. Even after my shower, I still looked like I'm fresh from bed. I was getting dressed for work when I realized that I was singing along to Usher's "DJ Got Us Falling In Love" and I was singing the line, "I feel like a zombie coming back to life, back back to life". Which was exactly how I felt.

Then, the other day. I was driving to work, listening to Yuna's "Greek Goddess". I was singing along to the lyrics, "Your boyfriend's a rockstar, driving a convertible". In a split second, (and no, I am not exaggerating), a convertible car passed by. I mean, how often do you see a convertible drive past you in Kulim? Come on!

Then, last two days, I was listening to Katy Perry's "The One That Got Away" while Google-ing "sad songs that make you want to die" (this is for my sister. See how depressed we are? I mean, she is.). As I went through the lists of songs, I came across the name Johnny Cash. Apparently he sang one of the saddest songs on earth. And at the same time, I was singing along to the line "I was dreaming you were my Johnny Cash" of Katy's song. Like, what the hell?? This is getting freaky! I have never ever heard of that name before and suddenly this serendipity is streaming like a river (okay what kind of simile is this? Okay is it even a simile? Okay what the hell).

It is fun sometimes, to have a song that suits my current mood. And I am able to do that without realizing it. But that got me thinking. When can I recite a Surah or Hadith that suits my current situation? Hmm.

Oh and as I got out of the car today, Taylor Swift's "Two Is Better Than One" was blaring on the speakers of the parking lot. Damn.

The list

I need to set a goal. Well, maybe goals. It's four months, man. Can't waste them away just like that. Okay let's see.

1. Re-read the whole Quran.
2. Give more attention to the hair and the face. (Sorry, I've been busy studying, mind you)
3. Get a job.
4. Re-read every Harry Potter books. (Can't afford to buy a new collection of books.sobs)
5. Re-watch all Harry Potter movies. (And complain about how they are not identical to the books)
6. Decorate the bedroom, make it worth the four months holiday.
7. Organize my Gmail. (I've used up 71% of the capacity. I need to clear some stuff)
8. Organize the stuff in my computer (Songs and movies and photos are saved everywhere! Don't forget the redundant ones)

Okay that's all for now. I'll update the list and try to fulfill all.

Day count : 3

One reunion, done!

When you haven't seen each other for five years or more, all the dark secrets start to pour all over.

Who likes who, old flames start to ignite, rivals laugh together, bestfriends got closer. All the memories, the glory days are fresh like it was yesterday.

One of the question asked to me was, "Camna hang boleh jadi kurus wey? Dulu aku tengok, erm..".

Don't know if I should be offended or flattered. I'm more flattered though. Hee.

:)

What love?

A guy and a girl fell in love with each other. Well, at least the girl thought she did. As usual, they shared everything, opened up every little secrets, showed each other their own little worlds. They left their hearts unguarded; exposed to any warm fuzzy feelings, living in the moment, enjoying the warmth, forgetting about the pounding aches.

To be less typical, they didn't promise much because they said promises are meant to be broken anyway. Little did they know, that hearts are meant to be broken too. After all the kiss-and-tell, the girl was too lost in the moment, she asked the guy about feelings. And he told her that he was confused. He didn't know what that was; the feeling. When the girl asked if it's love, he hesitated, denying, I suppose.

Sounds cliche? Sounds a lot like a Malay drama where the girl gave everything to the guy and finally the guy ditched her after getting what he wants, and now the girl is left empty and broken. Babes, we've watched these kind of things since we were young! We can guess almost everytime, how the story goes even from the very beginning. So why do we have to witness this all around us in real life? Gosh this is so annoying.

Kawan-kawan? Hehe

Kawan sekolah rendah ajak reunion kat Kulim.

Kawan sekolah menengah ajak meronggeng kat KL.

Kawan universiti ajak enjoy kat Genting.

Ahhh..which seat should I take?? (gaya Rebecca Black)

Too bad, I'm guessing none :(

Nak ikuttttt :'(

So long and goodbye

Who says a bad memory will always stay as a bad memory? I was in the kitchen with my sisters one night when I told them that an old flame added me on Facebook recently. So we were reminiscing about the day two years ago when that guy left me pathetically alone in Jusco Perda when he discovered that, okay that's a different story. But the point is, it is the incident where he dumped me. Ouch. And I don't know how my sisters did it, but they managed to turn the supposedly sad, weeping story of my life to be a really funny story where we laughed until we cried and our stomachs hurt. How great is that? Next time I remember about that incident, I'm sure gonna laugh my heart out. Thanks! :D