Sweet like chocolate

Food. 
Everything is about food today. I woke up earlier than usual just so I can stop by the nasik lemak stall to buy one. I drove to work while eating nasik lemak on my lap. Now how multitasking is that? I do so because going for breakfast is not fun anymore. Before this, meals at the cafe are the most fun part of the day at work. I get to be with my friends and talk and laugh and listen to them making silly jokes. But now, it's just awkward smiles and uncomfortable silences from different tables. Something happened and I still can't seem to decipher it. So, to avoid anyone from being uncomfortable, I refuse to be seen with them. I'm so sick of people asking what's wrong when even I don't have the answer. So it's better for me to withdraw. So yeah, I'll start this new ritual of driving to work while eating nasik lemak. So far, it's been fun and time-saving. At 11am, my stomach started to growl. I need food. So I escaped to the vending machine, bought an 80cents iced Milo and ate a Gardenia's chocolate-flavoured bread. That ought to replace my lunch. And the result was amazing! I've heard that chocolates can boost your hormones or something and it makes you feel happy. It's true! It's proven! After consuming those chocolate-based food and drink, I was elated. I don't know why. It is certainly not the power of the mind, because it took me quite some time to figure out why I was suddenly so happy. So yeah, belly full, smiling ear to ear, I was happily doing my work. This can be my new ritual as well, since going for lunch is not fun anymore. I might need to copy and paste my statements up there. Then I had mee goreng during tea time, not much of a so-called "tea time". I'm a big fan of mee. Be it mee kari, mee rebus, mee bandung, mee kuah, mee maggi, everything. But I was never a fan of mee goreng. But today's mee goreng was fabulous. I love it. Maybe because I was eating contently and with a very positive mood, I feel everything is positive. Despite the fact that she ignored my "oi" when we met, and the fact that she waited until I left before going at her locker, and not to forget the oh-I-didn't-see-you-there when she is practically inhaling the 0.04% from 4% of carbon dioxide that I've exhaled. We're like, less than 1 metre apart? Honestly, I give up. I  give up in pleasing everyone. It's just utterly impossible. So I'm doomed to have no one to hang out with there, okay fine. Maybe God has other plans for me.Okay I'm not gonna ruin my mood now. The chocolate still has its effect. Till then.

Little Darlings,

Apparently, one of my biggest fears is getting a bad news through the phone. Especially when the call sounds something like,


"Hey, insert-name-here is admitted to the hospital" 
or
"Insert-name-here is involved in an accident". 

Those lines give me mini heart attacks, seriously.

I'm neutral with kids. I'm not too "Awwwhhhh! You're so cute! Muahh muahh", and not so "Ergh! Get away from me! Oh god, would someone shut that kid up?!". (The latter one seems to be more enthusiastic. Hmm). But when these two little rascals who used to run around the house become like this, my heart breaks.

:'(

They are too young to feel pain.
Get well soon, little darlings. Acu will see you soon (HAHA. This doesn't sound like me)
Shit. Watery eyes.
Ok bye.

The lamp post

I looked out my window and saw a lamp post. A specific lamp post. The lamp post where you and I stood under it, you being nervous about your first Professional Communication Skills the next day. So we stood there with you rehearsing in front of me. I was thinking, the next time I'm taking PCS, you need to listen to me ramble about how nervous I am and you need to listen to me practice! Now how can that be possible?

The whiteboard at home.

So there's this one white board at home. I wrote my wishlist for my 22nd birthday. I was eyeing this Fossil watch which costs more than half of my pay. So I saved some of my second pay and hoped to buy it for myself the coming month. Unfortunately, my phone was broken just that time so I HAD to get a new one :)

Honestly, I was hoping that I would actually get only one out of this wishlist. Long story short, thanks to my superb support system cum family, I get everything I wanted. Not exactly everything, but more or less the same. I've got a phone as a birthday present from my sister and I gave her the money that I saved to buy the watch. As an exchange, I used the money Mom and Dad gave for my birthday to buy this one cheaper and fancy watch, just to cross it from my list. Two weeks later, I got this cute short haircut, just as a mark of the new me in this new year. And the thing that I was really surprised about was when Dad decided to let me drive this semester. I thought he was still shaken from the last accident. It's okay, I will try not to betray your trust, Dad. Well, at least not so much :)

I've seen most students here lamenting about their last four months being nothing but total boredom and waste of time. How can that be? I actually enjoyed my four months holiday. I learned to appreciate the simple things in life and relax in the company of your beloveds. Yeah I didn't get to have a vacation to Disneyland or visit the most tranquil place in the universe or the most crystal-clear beach on earth. But once you are surrounded with the people you love, spending time together doing nothing is already more than worth it.

I love my support system.

I should have taken up Accountancy

I went to the bank earlier today to change my ATM card into a debit card (lepas ni boleh la shopping macam guna kad kredit. Swipe swipe ja. Lepas tu tandatangan) and to increase my withdrawal limit from RM3000 to RM5000 (wide grin). I was standing at the counter, waiting for my turn. Next to me was a guy, it was his turn. So there I was, standing, lost in thought (padahal mengelamun), thinking how my life would have been a lot more different if I have studied Accountancy instead. When the guy had finished his business, he turned to me and said "Dik..", while passing a little piece of paper over the counter, and then he disappeared. I glanced and saw a series of phone number written on the paper. I didn't know what to do, so I kept my cool, acted as if nothing happened and I never touched that paper. First, I wasn't interested. I was just shocked because that was a first experience of some random guy passing his phone number to me. Second, I was scared that the paper was contaminated, let's say, with ubat guna-guna or worse, Anthrax. I know it's utterly impossible but it crossed my mind. So I just dealt with my business, and left. I never really knew how he looked like, because I never really paid any attention to him. Now I regretted for not taking the paper along with me. I should have taken the paper and passed it to my dad who was waiting not far from me. That ought to teach that guy a lesson. Hahahaha.

Come to think of it, what do these guys expect girls to do? Call the number and said "Hey, I la yang kat counter tadi" ? Please do enlighten me. And the other day, someone I knew was driving in a car. There were four ladies in the car and these two guys were following them on a motorbike. Once the motorbike was next to the car (both vehicles were on the move), the passenger took out his penis and flashed it to the ladies in the car. What the hell? I mean, what do they expect from the ladies? Stop the car and give him a blowjob? Okay sorry, but I just don't get it. Or maybe it's their pleasure, showing off what they have. Don't make me sound like a sexist. I just, I don't understand. I can't see what they get from this.

But hey, thanks. I was grinning all the way back. Today I feel pretty. Hahahahahaha.

The bathroom set

The thing about sharing a bathroom with two toddlers is, there are balloons in the bathroom, pampers scattered on the cabinet, and not to forget a few colourful balls, Legos shaped like a robot and those strawberry/orange-flavoured toothpaste that you're dying to try.

I'm sure gonna miss those little brats when this holiday ends :(

The value of

So I guess the conclusion is, be thankful with what you have in your life. Stop complaining because there are people who are less fortunate than us. If you're sick from flu or mild fever, there's someone in other parts of the world who is dying from AIDS. If you think that you don't have enough money to buy a new phone, there's a mother who worries about getting enough food on the table for her children. If you complain that you are bored during the four-months holiday with nothing to do, there's some cancer patient who has another four months to survive.

And when something bad happens to us, we should reflect it on ourselves. For example, when I got into an accident the other day, I guess Allah is trying to show me something. Maybe He wants to warn me of something bad that I've done. Maybe he wants me to improve. Maybe he wants to punish me for something I did. I don't know. That's what I have to figure out.

Another example, when you're really mad at someone, just relax and think again. Why are you mad at that person? What went wrong? After that, try and recall, have you done anything wrong? Maybe that person is wrong, or maybe you are wrong too. Maybe you've done something bad that make that person do what he did. I think I may have overlooked a few things sometimes. I know, I'm not always right all the time. I may have done things that make other people mad without me realizing it. This is a also a reminder for me, if one day I forgot these things.

I'm babbling. Okay. Dear future me, please be thankful.