Sunday, August 9, 2015

100th Day

It is our 100th day of being married. Such a short time frame, but I feel like we are stronger than ever.
I might be senile sometimes but I still remember that day, I still remember every vivid moment. I woke up early in the morning, thinking "Hey, I'm getting married today". Truth be told, I did not feel anything. I mean, I wasn't nervous, no butterflies came buzzing, I wasn't feeling the need to cry, I didn't know how I should feel. All I know is I won't be able to sleep across the bed anymore, in whichever direction and hideous position that I want, lol.

Despite all the feelingless fa├žade, a part of me was freaked out that you would not turn up, mostly because I was imagining that something bad might happen to you along the way like a car accident or something. That certainly topped my fear of you getting cold feet and thinking "No, I don't want to marry this woman" or "What was I thinking?!" or "This is no trophy wife, ditch her!". I'm a woman, I overthink, deal with it. But all those nasty fears simply fade away when I saw your face when you stepped into the house. T
he glimpse of your somewhat familiar smile somehow calmed me down.

You see, when I was a little girl, I never really imagined how my wedding day would look like. I never set any expectations, scared that I might be disappointed. I never had any specific color I'm gonna wear, I don't have a specific theme in mind, I didn't let my imagination wander off that far. All I know is I want my future husband to wear that white baju melayu handsomely, and you did it perfectly. All my life, there is only one person who pops into my head when I come across the word "segak", and that is Abah in baju melayu. And now, I have another face that brings significance to that word.

I still remember, I was peeking through the holed-bricks to catch a glimpse of you. And there you were, smiling widely with no apparent nervousness.  

That sight calmed me down a bit, but only just a bit. The gelabah shit came back when Tok Imam arrived and they called me out. I know I wasn't graceful when I came out, I sat down sloppily but heck, all eyes were on me! If it weren't for the bimbs, I would have melted into the pillow. Thanks Bimbs!

Alhamdulillah, everything went smoothly. I was more than happy that it was Abah who gave me away, and when you said the Akad, I couldn't look at you. I was too nervous. When they nodded their "Sah", hundreds of mixed feelings washed over me. Alhamdulillah. 

It has been 100 days. So many things have happened. All the tests came almost right away. You had to take care of me when I fell sick on our honeymoon. You wiped those phlegm that came out of my eyes (lol) without any signs of disgust, you drove me back and forth to the clinic in the middle of the night while I snored ungracefully next to you. Such drama, I know. We have been through so much during this short time together and I cannot imagine a day spent without you. I don't care what Ed Sheeran says, but as cheezy as it may sound, I hope we will be together till the end of time. Amiinn.

Header image by sabrinaeras @ Flickr