Tuesday, April 9, 2013

3 June 2016

It's ironic again, you see, how the person you hold dearest can break your heart into pieces. Watch any sad movies, have a fight with your boyfriend, bicker with friends; those tears will never be the same like the ones that your dearest one cause. In fact, I've never cried because of a fight with the boyfriend, and the last movie that I cried over was  "I Am Sam" which is about a down-syndrome father who is fighting for the custody of his child. Thank you for giving me a new record of crying and sobbing uncontrollably because I simply can't remember the last time I was in that state. And thank you for giving me a short scene of looking out the windows of the train with tears streaming down the face and only the sunlight to dry the glistening tears. Aahhh such a drama scene. This might be a new start of rebellion, a new beginning of alteration. And suddenly the stupid Pink song blabbing on going back to the happy times and whatnot blaring through the speakers. Thank you, thank you. I knew it was too good to be true. Let's fast forward to the big escape in three years time. I'll hold on to that for the time being. InsyaAllah. Amiinn.
Oh and if I'm dead and you somehow found this little blog of mine, you'll know that the posts here are mostly about you. Thank you.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Act like a girl

It's ironic you see. When you get married, you are suddenly very obedient. You need to follow your husband's orders, you need to get your husband's permission to go out of the house. If not, you will be considered "derhaka" and will be very sinful. Do you realize that you have had this responsibilities back when you are your parents' children? Did you really obey everything that your parents said back then? Did you ask for their permission everytime you're going out? This is just to name a few. Well, I know I didn't. So that makes me a not-so-obedient child to my parents. So why should I be a very-obedient wife to my husband? I'm not against marriage or men or anything. It just occurred to me. If I want to be a good or obedient wife, I need to be an extra extra obedient daughter first, right? I'm sure my parents deserve more than anyone else. I don't know. This post was intended to be one of those I-love-my-parents post because I miss them so much, I look at their photos late at night because I miss them and they promised they would come visit me today but cancelled last night with the excuse of I need to study. So I spent the whole morning sleeping, devastated. I was imagining everything perfectly in my mind, all the hugs and kisses. Well, thank you for nothing. This is me studying, thank you very much. It's 1.20pm and I'm still stuck in the room and I haven't seen anyone else. Plus, a phone call from home, reporting the situations at home, makes me want to crawl back under the covers and shut everything down.
Header image by sabrinaeras @ Flickr