miss those moments..

just for fun.
you don't have to read it.

had a stroll down memory lane today..
went on a motorcycle ride with daddy..
i used to love doing that 15 years ago.
in fact, i still do, actually.
can you imagine, every evening, we would go on a ride to the same places everyday..the same housing area.
ever since i was, i don’t know, 4 or 5 years old maybe?
i never missed one evening.
there was this one time, it was Ramadhan. my house is on a hill. so i always pitied my dad coz he had to go up the hill on the bike carrying me while fasting. you see, i was very fat and round and quite heavy when i was little. so i kept on asking him “abah, tak berat ka bawak ct ni?”. he will usually smile back.

we passed by my old kindergarten. tabika perpaduan. love that place. i spent two years there. i loved getting ready every morning to go there. daddy would bathe me, get me dressed, tied my hair (although it will always be senget sebelah), and sent me to he kindergarten. there was a play room there; full of dolls and robots and stuff. i hate that room. but once, there was a test and i was forced to stay there alone. God, i hate it! i was scared of the dolls! they could open and close their eyes, all by themselves! hate it hate it hate it!! and each year, there will always be sukaneka, right? and the only game that i'm good at is isi air dalam botol guna span. i know, it’s stupid. and i love playing with plasticine. i’m good at making snakes! well, that’s it, i think. haha.. i love colouring too. but i’m terribly bad at it. huh.

then, just now we passed by my old primary school.
so full of memories. i remembered, when i had to go to school during the afternoon session, i would be there by 11am, wearing my baju kurung uniform and tracksuits underneath. then i would take off my kain, leaving my baju kurung and tracksuits, jumping around playing lubang tikus. i was sooo selekeh back then. and mind you, i was a pengawas ok? a selekeh pengawas la tapi.. hehehe.. there used to be four of us back there. hilmie, azrin, atiqah and me. we used to cycle together, play together. oh well.. those were the days.

then we passed by my secondary school. the proud badlishah.
mind you, i was here from form 1 to form 3. all those 3 years, i was a complete NERD. my bag will be full of books and in my hands, there will be another 4 or 5 textbooks. i don’t know what’s wrong with me! i was a nobody at that time. nobody knows me. ask anyone from badlishah, “knai rosma tak?”. they will say “sapa tu??”. you don’t believe me? ask ali. ask anep. i was in the same class (pendidikan islam) with them and they didn’t even recognize me. hmm..curse them. and i remembered, i was in the PBSM and i always have to jaga padang (stupid stupid) during sport’s day. (dah la aku memang gelap. saja ja nak bagi aku burn macam arang lagi) but i love my uniform though. my mom made it herself so it’s kinda tailored and it kinda follows the shape of the body and it’s kinda sexy. LOL. and there was this one senior that i had a crush on. he was the head of the PBSM team, i think. so me and my friend, we got his phone number and we started acting like two crazy secret admirers. and the guy turned out to be the head student/ head prefect. omaigawd saya sangat malu.

then i arrived home. back to my housing area. i never really have many friends here. coz everyone is over 50 years old here. but i remembered there was this one time, a family with two children moved into the house in front of mine. one boy and one girl. i was elated. finally, i can make friends..FINALLY. so we were playing the swings outside. i was so happy. then mommy opened the door and shouted to me “CT!! masuk tidoq!”. omaigawd. it was 3pm, for God’s sake! so i went in, having my nap. a few weeks later, the family moved away. i don’t know why. then, there was this one girl, she is my sister’s little sister (err..got me?). one day, we were playing together as if we’ve known each other since forever. we were laughing a lot, running here and there bla bla bla. the next day, we were supposed to play again but this time, she was very shy. she was hiding behind her sis and refused to come near me and acted as if she didn’t know me at all. i started to think that i’m repelling little kids. i don’t know what my problem was. so i was quite a loner actually. at home, i used to have a favourite spot : the store room. it is under the stairs and full of old stuff and dust and everything but i still love it so much. i would drag my small chair in, with my book and pencil, closed the door and stayed there. you see, the store room is closed and there is no air ventilation at all. once i felt almost suffocated and was about to die, then only i would go out. i don’t know why i torture myself like that, still a puzzle to me. and I loved to be alone. sometimes, I would go up the hill on my pink bicycle with a book in my shirt, and stayed there alone, feeling the breeze and reading the pink book. haha.. I can still remember!

oh well..
time changes.
many things change.
another member will enter the family and I’m sure the attention will be less on me.
I don’t know if I should be happy or sad.
no more riding the bike with daddy.
can you imagine a 20 years old young lady riding a bike with her 62 years old daddy?
ermm..the picture looks awkward.
no more getting everything I wanted.
no more whining to and hugging mak and abah, I suppose.
and plus, mom’s getting a job and they are moving to sungai petani.
i can’t imagine leaving my childhood here.
so many things have happened.
too much.

ntah la..
bosan la..
:(